RoyalPain

Royal Pain is the lonely downy that inhabits the Midwest. A self proclaimed queer libertarian with an unquenchable thirst for Asian men. however bizarrely he has an extreme hatred for Asian culture. because they have bigger dicks than him, it is believed commonly that royal pain does not sleep. He has also never been observed smiling. Royal pain spends his days ranting and raving society. royal pain acts as a fortune teller for the swag shack and duck nation, he harnesses his single semester of psych from college to look into his gypsy ball and magic; make predictions about the future

Origins(Circa 1998)
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day

Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say

No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip

For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

Quotes
"DNA tests are astrology for right wingers."-FACT CHECK:TRUE

"Fallout 2 is a horribly written game"-FACT CHECK: TRUE

"POV: You have never felt the warmth of a woman."-FACT CHECK: TRUE

Notable Events
On one notable occasion, Royal Pain throw hydrochloric acid in Caio's fucking face. Also snek went nuclear on corporatist erroneously trying to act on his behalf.